You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
