Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
