Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
