So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
