So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
It's blow job season.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize