i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
