Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
