i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
