i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
