who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
