Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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