I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
