wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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