I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
