i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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