Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
