I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
