Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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