So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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