I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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