Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
