omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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