How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
