He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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