Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
