All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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