Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
