I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
