it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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