This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
