apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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