didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
