we're blogging at a bar
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
