Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
