I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
