I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
