You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
