News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
