Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
