Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
