It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
