The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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