so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
