writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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