we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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