It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Dick very happy bro
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
