I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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