My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
