NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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