I just saw a hot homeless man
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Terrible idea I love it
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
